1. “An ‘extremely credible source’ has called my office and told me that Barack Obama’s birth certificate is a fraud”
Trump was determined to ‘expose’ President Obama’s birthplace back in 2012, and even claimed to have sent investigators to Hawaii in the hopes of proving Obama wasn’t born in the United States.
2. “Robert Pattinson should not take back Kristen Stewart. She cheated on him like a dog & will do it again – just watch. He can do much better!”
Clearly Donald is a Team Edward kind of guy…
3. “Ariana Huffington is unattractive, both inside and out. I fully understand why her former husband left her for a man – he made a good decision.”
Trump always has charming things to say about successful, prominent women – but he stooped particularly low with this comment about Huffington Post founder.
4. “You know, it really doesn’t matter what the media write as long as you’ve got a young, and beautiful, piece of ass.”
Trump proves (again) that he views a woman’s looks over anything else…
5. “I will build a great wall – and nobody builds walls better than me, believe me – and I’ll build them very inexpensively. I will build a great, great wall on our southern border, and I will make Mexico pay for that wall. Mark my words.”
Oh for goodness sake.
6. “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending the best. They’re not sending you, they’re sending people that have lots of problems and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bring crime. They’re rapists… And some, I assume, are good people.”
Just another casually racial slur, then…
7. “Our great African-American President hasn’t exactly had a positive impact on the thugs who are so happily and openly destroying Baltimore.”
Don’t worry, his racist outbursts aren’t just directed at Mexico.
8. “If I were running ‘The View’, I’d fire Rosie O’Donnell. I mean, I’d look at her right in that fat, ugly face of hers, I’d say ‘Rosie, you’re fired.’”
Trump has infamously hated on Rosie O’Donnell, making crude, sexist and misogynistic remarks about her on multiple occasions.
9. “All of the women on The Apprentice flirted with me – consciously or unconsciously. That’s to be expected.”
Because of course, no woman can resist Trump’s charms. [Throws up on keyboard]
10. “One of they key problems today is that politics is such a disgrace. Good people don’t go into government.”
Well at least he’s showing some self awareness.
11. “The beauty of me is that I’m very rich.”
And not that fabulous barnet of yours?
12. “It’s freezing and snowing in New York – we need global warming!”
Definitely not missing the point…
13. “I’ve said if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.”
Possibly (/definitely) one of the creepiest things we’ve ever heard…
14. “My fingers are long and beautiful, as, it has been well documented, are various other parts of my body.”
15. “I have never seen a thin person drinking Diet Coke.”
We’re glad he’s so concerned about the obesity crisis.
16. “I think the only difference between me and the other candidates is that I’m more honest and my women are more beautiful.”
Women aren’t possessions, Donald. They can’t belong to you.
17. “You’re disgusting.”
To put this into context, Donald Trump said this to the opposing lawyer during a court case when she asked for a medical break to pump breast milk for her three-month-old daughter.
18. “The point is, you can never be too greedy.”
Campaign slogan = sorted.
19. “Sorry, there is no STAR on the stage tonight!”
In his Twitter liveblogging of the Democratic debate, Trump seemed to think he was watching a talent show rather than looking for the next POTUS.
20. “My Twitter has become so powerful that I can actually make my enemies tell the truth.”
We think Donald may be overestimating the power of Twitter.
21. “My IQ is one of the highest — and you all know it! Please don’t feel so stupid or insecure; it’s not your fault.”
Don’t worry, we won’t.
22. “I have so many fabulous friends who happen to be gay, but I am a traditionalist.”
What does that even mean?
23. “The other candidates — they went in, they didn’t know the air conditioning didn’t work. They sweated like dogs…How are they gonna beat ISIS? I don’t think it’s gonna happen.”
Because sweating = the inability to solve a political crisis. Gotcha.
24. “Look at those hands, are they small hands? And, [Republican rival Marco Rubio] referred to my hands: ‘If they’re small, something else must be small.’ I guarantee you there’s no problem. I guarantee.”
Along with the petition to keep him out of the UK, can we also campaign for Trump to stop talking about his penis?
25. “Thanks sweetie. That’s nice”
Said Donald in typically patronising style to a female 9/11 survivor. Inappropriate – and quite creepy.
26. “Lyin’ Ted Cruz just used a picture of Melania from a shoot in his ad. Be careful, Lyin’ Ted, or I will spill the beans on your wife.”
Threatening your opponent’s wife on Twitter? Stay classy, Don…
27. “I was down there, and I watched our police and our firemen, down on 7-Eleven, down at the World Trade Center, right after it came down”
Ah 7-Eleven, great convenience store, and def not to be confused with a national tragedy and symbol of global terrorism, eh Trump?
28. “The only card [Hillary Clinton] has is the woman’s card. She’s got nothing else to offer and frankly, if Hillary Clinton were a man, I don’t think she’d get 5 percent of the vote. The only thing she’s got going is the woman’s card, and the beautiful thing is, women don’t like her.”
Speaking from a, errr, woman’s perspective, we reckon ol’ Trumpy may be a little off with this one.
29. “Number one, I have great respect for women. I was the one that really broke the glass ceiling on behalf of women, more than anybody in the construction industry.”
Thank you Donald. Thank you for all your help.
30. “I’m just thinking to myself right now, we should just cancel the election and just give it to Trump, right?”
“ROSIE O’DONELL is a FAT PIG” !!!