Why Kanye West Sucks





1. No one can forget his rushing the stage when Taylor Swift won the award for Best Music Video at the MTV Music Awards in 2009. Imagine winning an award for all of your hard work. You are about to give a speech to thank everyone and then a drunken Kanye West appears out of nowhere, steals the mike and tells you and the world that you don’t deserve that award, Beyoncé does. Class act Kanye. The guy has no idea there is other music out there that is not the mainstream. Beyoncé is not the end all be all.  And either is Kanye. We really hope when his daughter is older and perhaps does something worthy of her life, that some douche bag will steal her thunder and make her feel unworthy. Actually, we really hope that happens.

2. Is the guy ever happy? Seriously, he has to be the most unhappy person on this planet. Nothing looks fun to him. We can only imagine him at his wedding not smiling. However, in all fairness, most would not be smiling if they were marrying Kim Kardashian. Also, at his daughter’s birth, we wonder if he found any sort of joy in that. He probably just went on a rant and berated the nurses and doctors telling them he could have done it way better.

3. The dude can’t accept that he isn’t always considered the best at something. In 2006 at the MTV Europe Music Awards, he lost the Best Video category to the electronic dance duo, Justice and Simian. He had already won the award for Best Hip-Hop Artist, but apparently that wasn’t enough. So,  in typical jackass Kanye behavior, he crashed the stage, started cursing and ranting as to why he should have won the award. “This video cost a million dollars. I had Pam Anderson. I was jumping across canyons and shit.” He then went on to say “Its nothing against you, I never seen your video.” Of course not.




4. Even Dave Chappelle thinks he is a cocky idiot. Back in the day when Kanye was not very well-known yet, he did an appearance on the Chappelle Show. After giving his performance, Kanye took a call while in the presence of Common, Talib Kweli and Chappelle. Remember, this guy still was not a huge star by any means, yet. “No I can’t… No I’m at the edit for the Dave Chappelle Show watching sketches that no one’s seen before… ’cause my life is dope, and I do dope shit.” Check it out at the 4-minute mark.

5. And the final reason Kanye sucks is the fact that we are writing this article! Life sucker! If wishes do come true, Mr. West will finally annoy everyone so much that his fame and fortune vanishes. Whenever he speaks, no one will listen, he will be told to shut up and go away. Nothing would please us more than to squash that giant ego and watch him walk away with his tail between his legs. Oh glorious day, please come soon!






That’s FACT !!!!


The Top Ten Reasons Why Kanye West Is a Douche

Kanye West is a douche for many, many reasons, but it is easy to falter and find yourself thinking “Man, that Kanye’s a pretty wicked dude”.  It happens to the best of us, we falter at times, but it shouldn’t have to happen.  I have narrowed the proofs of his douchiness down to a ten-point emergency checklist that folds easily into your pocket or wallet for those times when his blinding douchebaggery eludes you.

1.  He douched out at the Grammy’s when he took the stage to accept his award, refused to leave the stage when his time was up, and then actually told them to stop playing the get-off-the-stage music so that he could keep talking.  Me Kanye. I bes vewy, vewy important.

2.  His new album, due out on November 24th, is a departure from his usual style, as he sings more than he raps. That is all good and well, because he is a talented musician, but then he had to go and douche it up by saying that this change in style is an attempt to challenge the likes of Jimi Hendrix and Paul McCartney, who he describes as “those artists in black and white photos”, because taking a crap on music legends serves to make Kanye’s genius obvious to all and sundry.

3.  In a recent interview, Kanye said, and I am not kidding: “I realize that my place and position in history is that I will go down as the voice of this generation, of this decade, I will be the loudest voice. It’s me settling into that position of just really accepting that it’s one thing to say you want to do it and it’s another thing to really end up being like Michael Jordan.”

4.  In that same interview, he showcased his inveterate respect for other performers by slamming Justin Timberlake: “There were people who had the potential to do it but they went on vacation, so when Justin went on vacation I made albums, and it just came out to be that.”

5.  Kanye pulled the race card when it was announced that Britney Spears would be hosting the 2007 Video Music Awards.  “I can’t believe she would perform. She hasn’t had a hit record in years. Maybe my money’s not right. Maybe my skin’s not right.”  Riiiiight, that’s it.

6.  In an interview with Tim Westwood, Kanye said “I’m doing pretty good as far as geniuses go… I’m like a machine. I’m a robot. You cannot offend a robot… I’m going down as a legend, whether or not you like me or not.  I am the new Jim Morrison. I am the new Kurt Cobain… They feel like, yo, you know ‘he’s got a God complex, because he said if they wrote the Bible again that he would be in it’. Duh, yeah, I would be in it. I feel like I’m one of the more important people in pop culture right now… The Bible had 20, 30, 40, 50 characters in it. You don’t think that I would be one of the characters of today’s modern Bible? And people have their own forms of bibles now. It’s a new day and age…”

7.  In a display of extremely douchey poor sportsmanship, he now claims that the MTV awards shows are fixed, because how could the “voice of this generation” lose otherwise?

8.  There are ten Facebook groups that come up when you use the search terms “Kanye West douche”.

9.  Kanye West blogs up a storm. Mostly he’s fairly boring, but he drops these gems once in a while that turn being a douche into a spectator sport.

10.  When his video for “Touch the Sky” did not win at the MTV Europe Music Awards, Kanye publicly expressed his incredulity.  “It took a month to film; I stood on a mountain; I flew a helicopter over Vegas. I did it to be the king of all videos and I wanted to walk home with that award,” he complained.  Kanye?  Whining about how you are not the most popular will not work to make you more popular, but it will get you a “Top Ten Reasons Why Kanye West Is a Douche” checklist. Congratulations.