Americano Coffee Sucks

A BEAUTIFUL
CLASSIC CUP of JOE
An AMERICAN COFFEE
“DON’T GIVE ME NO FRIGGIN AMERICANO”
When It COMES To AMERICAN COFFEE
LEAVE THE O  Off of AMERICAN-O


Coffee Shop Barista: “Sorry we’re out of Coffee. I can make you an Americano.”


Me: “No Thanks, they don’t taste the same.” But I’m thinking, Hell No, They Taste Like Shit !


Me: “I’ll wait to you brew a new pot.”


Do you know what I’m talking about? Do you know what an Americano in terms of Coffee is? Well, an Americano is a supposedly “Regular American Coffee” that instead of being made with coffee beans that have bean specifically made for brewing a good ol Cup of Joe, an “American Coffee” (Regular), they make a the coffee with coffee beans that have been specifically roasted to make Espresso coffee, but instead of using just a very small amount of water as in making an Espresso, they use 8-10 the amount of hot boiling water brewed with ground espresso and call it an “Americano,” Guess What? “It Taste like Shit.” It’s friggin awful!!! An Espresso is an Espresso, Regular American Coffee is Regular American Coffee, “Don’t be given me no Dam Americano!”
   Hey, I’m Italian-American. I  have a perfectly made Italian Espresso every morning for the past 25 years at New York’s best and most authentic Italian Caffe, “Caffe Dante” on Macdougal Street in Greenwich Village, a bastion of New York and America’s finest Italian Food, Italian Restaurants, Caffe’s, Pastry Shops, Pork Stores, Espresso and Cappuccino, but don’t give me no “Dam American” when I want my beloved Regular Cup of Joe, “You Just Don’t Do It” as John Travolta said in Pulp Fiction. And as Samuel L. Jackson said as Jules Winfeild. “A Sewar-Rat may taste like Pumpkin Pie, but I wouldn’t no cause I wouldn’t Eat The Dirty Mother F-er.” Well that’s how I feel about Americano Coffee. I love Espresso and I love regular American Coffee, “Just Don’t ask me if I want a Friggin Americano!”








Daniel Bellino-Zwicke

 

 

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